Saturday, November 04, 2006
Having a bad day?
One thing I realised that I should do when I'm having a bad day is to first acknowledge that I'm having a bad day. Things are just not going the way that I wanted them to go and there is nothing I can do to change what happens. Resisting, denying or fighting against the situation will just make things worse. Such actions would only serve to hide your feelings just like sweeping a bunch of dirt under the carpet. The feelings are there to be felt. And what happens doesn't mean that you're a bad person, that you mess things up, or that you don't deserve the basic emotional necessities that every human being is entitled to. It just means that you've had a bad day and the past should be history.
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6 comments:
Sometimes nothing really happens during what you would call your "bad day". It's just that your mind tells you that there is something wrong and you should be having a bad day. It's crucial to be conscious enough to catch that thought before you identify yourself with it.
agreed. i would go further and say that it's not about you or someone else judging you and deciding if you are good or bad. it's about you aspiring to something (that you think is the "good") and working towards it and trying to be like it. feelings are secondary to these things. they are there to show you if things are going right or wrong, but they are inconsistent and not grounded on anything you can depend upon.
First of all, I do agree that you shouldn't decide your self worth based on other people's judgements. Nobody is entitled to make judgements about somebody else's intrinsic "value". (Value is not the exact word but I guess it's the closest to the one I have in mind).
However, litearally millions of people aspire do to accomplish something which they consider would be "good" for them, yet they fail to do so and eventually give up after many unavailing attempts. Some of those people do also acknowledge that their feelings are hindering their progress.
I'm not sure that feelings are really there to show you whether things are going right or wrong. I think that for the most part they are emotional or physical manifestations revealed as a reaction to what your mind thinks (about yourself). That's why they are not grounded on anything you can depend upon. However, they are still there to be felt. The only remedy to your painful feelings is to feel them, not to numb them with something else. That way, maybe once you're through with those feelings you would feel more invigorated to move on and accomplish the things that will make your life more meaningful.
what i meant to say is that it's not about deciding your "self-worth" or whatever. life is not a video game where you collect points which increase your intrinsic value or something. i agree that it's important to come to terms with your emotions and try to understand when, where, why, how they come about, etc. but it's not entirely productive to keep your focus on your feelings and wait for them to go away before you can do anything else. what matters is to try your best and focus on what you are aiming for and how to get there.
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think I've made myself misunderstood. If you wait for every feeling to go away before you can do something else, then you're in trouble. (I guess I'm trapped in that kind of situation right now). All I'm saying is that you shouldn't try to fight it when you're experiencing uncomfortable feelings and you shouldn't let your irrational beliefs get you.
And you can't really increase or decrease your self worth. It is there and existent in every living being. No living individual is more valuable or more important than the other.
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