On Trust and Love

I may be diverging from my aforementioned agenda a little bit but I've just had an inspirational moment when I just got struck by an idea: We would be trusting people if our sense of self is not founded upon what other people think of us. Let me explain. If we feel that we're not getting enough love from people around us, then we probably feel betrayed when others let us down or don't live up to our expectations and we start thinking thoughts like "nobody cares about me", "I got ditched again", "I don't have any real friends", "Nobody understands me"... You get the idea. We all have different ways of interpreting and articulating it, depending on the person and situation.

What if we thought that people actually loved us and cared about us? What if we made ourselves believe that whoever let us down actually values us and likes spending time with us? We wouldn't be focusing on small things that much. We wouldn't be taking things personally as frequently as we did. We would trust people when they say something and not look for hidden subtext beneath the words.

For instance, the person who loves me the most is my mother. I think that she loves me more than anything else in the world and I'm really grateful for this. However, she sometimes says things that makes me sad, does something that pisses me off. This doesn't change the fact that she loves me. It just shows that nobody is perfect. People are humans and they're not infallible. Even the person who loves you the most cannot be there every single time you need it. Even the person who loves you the most may inadvertently say things that hurt you without realising it. I know my mother loves me because she is my mother. But the same thing should be true for everyone. We should just give people some credit, just to make it a little easier for both sides.

There are vicious and virtuous cycles in life (like in ecomomics). A vicious cycle starts with a negative thought and gets amplified with increased effort to seek for negative things. You start watching out for things that would bring you down and interpret them accordingly to reach your goal of self demeaning. This naturally affects your feelings about yourself and in turn increases your negative thoughts.
A virtuous cycle is basically the same except that your starting point is an optimistic, if not a positive, thought. If you focus on the times when you have enjoyed yourself, when you have done something nice for somebody else or somebody else has done something nice for you, then you will have a lesser tendency to think that others are trying to hurt you. Just by focusing on a different thing you your increase your self respect and give your soul what it needs. You'd be less likely to be pissed off, and take things personally when something unexpected happens. I'm saying unexpected because you wouldn't interpret it as "unpleasant" anymore.

If you change the belief that "nobody likes you" to the belief that "you deserve to be loved", then first and foremost you would start liking yourself. In that case, even if somebody really screws you over, you wouldn't worry about it that much anymore because you wouldn't be basing your personality on what others think of you or what others do to you. The only person from whom you need love is yourself. If you can't give yourself this, then you're going to have to beg for love from other people and you know that you're not always going to get it.

You get what you radiate. If you radiate love and positivity then it's impossible for others not to honor this with love and positivity in return. This can only happen if you look for love within yourself.